Stop Pretending

There's a quote that reads, "The hardest thing about realizing that you don't love me, is that you spent so much time pretending that you did."  The fact of the matter is… he wasn't the one pretending - you were.  You pretended as if you were being loved in a way that fulfilled you.  You pretended as if his flaws turned you on.  And lastly, you pretended that you'd be able to change him if his flaws ever became unbearable.  Now the flaws are unbearable and, all of a sudden, you think he was pretending.  In fact, all the while he was being himself and you were seeing him for who you thought he had the potential to be.

Do you know love?  If not, it will be impossible for someone else to love you because you have yet to learn to love yourself. So because he made you laugh, bought you a random gift and told you you were "the one" - you thought you felt love.  What you failed to remember was that most of the guys you've dated made you laugh and smile.  That's just the way it works in the beginning.  Then he surprised you with a burger for lunch.  You don't even eat beef!  Yes, he said you were "the one." What you didn't hear was (for the next couple of months - maybe a year) you're "the one."  Don't misconstrue Love.  Get to know Love before you expect to receive Love.  If you don't, you'll always take a chance of accepting love that's counterfeit.

His flaws - - (the fact that he always picked you up hours late for your dates, used his teeth to crush his ice like an ice machine and desired to have no children) - - turned you on at first.  You admired that he worked long hours and it was okay when he picked you up late.  You thought it was sexy when he crunched his ice.  Then you decided that life without children would allow you to focus more on your career and save you some headaches.  Now you've changed your mind and you think he was pretending to love you.  Fact is - he was always being his authentic self.  He tried to show you who he was all along and all along you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.

His flaws don’t mean that he’s not a good guy for someone.  Moreover, they may just mean that he’s not the right man for you.  After you get to know Love, figure out what your non-negotiables are.  Then move forward.

Zoom out on your situation and stop pretending.

Until Next Time,

Love B. Loved